This whole dating scene can be quite a slippery slope that I often don't know how to navigate. With that said, it is no surprise that I find myself with yet another conundrum on my hands regarding the opposite sex. So here's my dilemma. For the last few weeks, I've been hanging out with a gentleman we'll call Ryan (and before anyone asks, he is not a social media friend of mine, nor does he even know that I keep this blog). On paper, Ryan is everything I should want in a guy: intelligent, educated, well-mannered, funny, goal-oriented, spiritual and hard working. As for looks, he's somewhat attractive...no Denzel, but certainly matinee-able. I met Ryan through some mutual friends who were sure we would hit it off instantly. We've been out several times, and I always enjoy myself. The conversation is engaging, and for the most part, everything has been going pretty smoothly. There's just one problem: I don't feel anything. The spark, chemistry, fireworks, butterflies, "je ne sais quoi," (or whatever your preferred terminology for that unexplainable excitement you experience around someone that you're really into) is noticeably lacking. I recall noticing after the first couple of dates that that feeling was absent, but I told myself to stop being silly...Ryan was such a nice guy, surely it would come on its own, right? Fast forward almost a month, and my mojo still doesn't feel the least bit tickled.
Don't get me wrong, Ryan is a really cool person, and I have no qualms about hanging out with him despite my lack of romantic enthusiasm. The problem is that Ryan seems to really like me a lot, and whenever he makes those comments like "You're exactly the kind of woman I could see myself with," I smile very sweetly and find a way to conveniently change the subject. I'm aware of the fact that that strategy will only work for so long. I'm not in the business of playing with anyone's feelings, which is why a part of me thinks the best course of action would be to tell Ryan how I feel and keep it moving. On the other hand, maybe my heart and spirit just need a little more time to warm up to this fella. I don't want to dismiss a potentially right person all because I didn't give myself enough time. (Sigh) What's a girl to do?
Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere?